Realz-World Resoluting —
Crappy Dreams Equal Crappy Reality

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Crappy Dreams Equal Crappy Reality
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Crappy Dreams Equal Crappy Reality

Realz-World Resoluting —
Crappy Dreams Equal Crappy Reality

Crappy Dreams Equal Crappy Reality -- learn how to set better goals that you'll actually succeed at achieving this year (#blogpost #resolutions #goals #simplify #achieve #accomplish #goalsetting #healthyboundaries #youcandoit #productivity) at http://ramonacreel.com/2018/01/11/organized-and-then-some/crappy-dreams-crappy-reality/January’s an innately-emotionally-significant month (either time for a black-and-blue-beating over the last 12-month’s up-screwage — or a tabula-rasa-chance to forgive mistakes, start fresh, and take another stab at whatever-it-was-that-didn’t-quite-happen-the-way-you-wanted in the past year).

I’m betting you lean more toward the first option.

(You know how I know this about you? Because you’re human — and the two things homo sapiens freaking EXCEL at are unreasonable expectations about what they can accomplish in the available time, and upon-their-own-shoulders-guilt-heaping when they don’t meet those cray-cray standards.)

The end result is an anti-motivational mess of neg-head goals that bring you down, man!

Hey, I feel your pain. You didn’t mean for those resolutions to suck the very life-force from your soul. But by focusing only on crap behaviors and “fixing” what’s wrong — you’re automatically saying, “I’m flawed. I’m broken. I’m not good enough as I am. I’ll only ever be happy when I’ve accomplished X.”

What kind of self-defeating bullshit is that??

As a devil’s-advocate-illustration-of-why-the-standard-goal-setting-process-is-fucked-in-the-head, I’d like to share my favorite mathematical attempted-life-change equation with you:

when (self-esteem = accomplishments ÷ expectations) then (pinning your hopes on a single black/white-win/lose outcome = a pretty-damned-big chance of failure)

You might shed those pounds or score that exec-level promotion or turn your home into Martha Stewart’s wet dream — you might not. (And if you fall short, how awesome that you now feel like a total schmuck!)

Do you really think that wrapping the concept of “self-improvement” in all that black, viscous negativity is gonna make things better? Yeah — maintaining momentum and staying excited about an objective that treats you like a miscreant (before you’ve even had the pleasure of committing an actual sin) is super-easy!

So on top of the inherent disapproval native to this kind of thinking, let’s add a little extra stress, just for fun — in the form of a gigantic gut-punch-to-your-pride if you don’t cross that finish line. (And no. Staggering through the last lap half-conscious-and-on-the-edge-of-death-like-Gabriela-Andersen-Schiess doesn’t cut it. Clueless about this particular obscure-historical-pop-culture-reference? Clearly you’re not a gen-xer. Youtube her — 1984 olympic marathon runner who pushed herself past the point of dehydration-meets-ready-to-collapse. She moved like someone either mid-stroke or cerebral-palsic at race’s end.)

Embracing a broader scope instantly transforms that target at which you aim into something much larger-and-more-hittable. With a resolution like “improvement,” all you need to win is “better than before.” Increasing your workouts from from zero-per-week to two, getting a pat-on-the-back-and-a-raise with that annual performance review, adopting a few put-things-away-when-I’m-done-with-them organizational habits are now seen as victories — when before they would have been failures.

If your resolutions feel too damned hard to keep (translate to mean “you chronically struggle, backslide, and berate yourself”), Imma let you in on a little secret — you may not be the problem.

The flaw might be in the quality of your goals.

 

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    2 Responses

    1. Yup… we set these crazy unrealistic goals that we have no hope of reaching, then we either beat ourselves up over it (like you say here) or we don’t, because we really didn’t expect to reach them anyway.

    2. Or, as I like to say: Progress equals Happiness. (Doesn’t matter what the goal is, or how small the increment of progress. Makes ME happy, anyway.)

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