Tin Can Travels —
What It’s Like To Live, Work, And Play On The Road
(Year-Round, In Less-Than-200-Square Feet)

Home / Tin Can Travels —
What It’s Like To Live, Work, And Play On The Road
(Year-Round, In Less-Than-200-Square Feet)
/ Living In A Tin Can --
A Blog About Live-Work-Travel In Less-Than-200-Square Feet
/ The Road To RVing --
How To Guaran-Damn-Tee That You're Gonna Fail At RVing

The Road To RVing —
How To Guaran-Damn-Tee That You’re Gonna Fail At RVing

How To Fail At RVing -- a look at those beliefs and behaviors that will guaran-damn-tee you are going to fail at RVing (#blogpost #RVlifestyle #RVer #fulltimer #fulltimeRVing #Airstream #glamping #travel #lifeofadventure #homeiswhereyouparkit) at http://ramonacreel.com/2018/01/31/living-in-a-tin-can/fail-at-rving/Search the interwebz, you’ll find a pile of articles aiming you toward those beliefs/behaviors that encourage RVing success. And those are awesome.

But as an amateur-turned-professional contrarian, I wanted to point out a few of the less-constructive mobile attitudes I’ve run across while traveling the country — the kind that pretty much guarantee right-from-the-start-on-the-road-misery-and-failure.

Yes, this list is a tad ridiculous. Remember, I play the worst-case scenario game for a living — besides, a little hyperbole is good for perspective.

(What can I say? I’m just that sort of “every-Airstream-has-a-silver-lining” optimist.)

Wanna screw yourself from the start? Then you should definitely:

  • Be really in love with your stuff. Bordering on obsessed. (I’m talking an unhealthy-co-dependent-weighing-you-down-and-making-them-folks-on-Hoarders-look-organized level of relationshit.)
  • Get seriously grossed out by things like dumping poo or sink-water backing up into the shower.
  • Plan your travel route entirely around major tourist attractions, outlet malls, and chain restaurants — refusing to eat a foodstuff that hasn’t been processed-to-death, shop for consumer items without a logo on them, or patronize any business that lacks an internationally-trademarked name.
  • Act like your trip is ruined when something causes a disruption in your carefully-laid-out itinerary.
  • You know those super-annoying always-on-the-go-never-spend-two-nights-in-the-same-place-drive-from-Schenectady-to-Topeka-in-a-single-day-barely-pausing-long-enough-to-grab-twenty-winks-at-a-Walmart-parking-lot fools who equate travel success with insane amounts of mileage? Be like THAT.
  • Always need to have things your way. Always.
  • Turn into a chronic e-sturbator who spends every second of on-the-road time diddling around with techno-crap-gagdets — face stuck in a smart-cell-photo-reader-phablet (with the built-in bluetooth, ipod, gps, and webcam) instead of actually-god-forbid interacting with the world around you.
  • Be in a big-ass-road-rage-tinged-hurry, everywhere you go.
  • Hide away inside your rig — actively avoiding the folks in your park, never exploring the area, and staying right-the-hell-away-from the locals. (Truly, it’s a lot safer in there. Outside is too scary.)
  • Allow any level of sweat or chill to make you miserable.
  • Insist that happiness is being able to tivo a half-dozen of the latest shows while checking email, texting your mom, and streaming netflix over a live group chat with your best friends who live halfway across the country — as your daughter blow dries her hair, your son nukes a hot pocket, and your husband charges 15 different devices with the air conditioner going full blast (all at the same time).
  • Act like a complete jerk when you show up without a reservation and the RV park’s booked solid.
  • Be so focused on the money-saving-side of nomadic living that you end up sleeping parked on the side of the road, rather than actually pay for a flipping campsite.
  • Take off RVing to escape something you don’t like about your life. (Go ahead — try it.)
  • Have special snowflake issues — bug-aversions, germaphobia, low-carb-sans-fat-organic-paleo-vegan-gluten-free-non-gmo-orthorexia-nervosa, they-got-a-better-parking-spot-than-ours-osis, why’s-there-so-much-damn-nature-everywhere-we-go-itis, those-folks-are-too-close-to-my-rig-opathy).
  • Care what society thinks and how brick-and-mortar folks are judging your life choices.
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