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25 Reasons My Cats Are Better Than Kids

Fascist State -- Cats Anti ChildI have chosen not to have human children — but that doesn’t mean I don’t have kids. My babies are small and hairy and poop in a box (which could probably be said for some people’s biological offspring too!) I know that many parents get bent out of shape when you suggest that you don’t need children because you have pets — but in my case, it’s entirely true. My cats travel with me everywhere I go as a full-time RVer, they share my experiences, and make me smile on a regular basis. And in many ways, they can be just as needy and clingy and lovingly-irritating as a kid — they wake me before I’m ready in the morning, shove their way onto my lap at inconvenient moments, and cry when I leave them alone for too long. I couldn’t live without them. My little boo-girls are all the kids I’ll ever need (too much, sometimes!) However to me, cats provide a bigger payoff (in terms of love and affection and all that jazz) with much less noise, hassle, and frustration.

When folks ask if I have kids, I say that I currently have two small hairy babies and that’s plenty for me — ahhhhhh, the pitter-patter of little feet without having to buy them shoes! Some parents get offended when I compare their hairless animals to my furbabies, but my cats really are my children — I’ve watched them grow up from infants and nursed them through pee-pee accidents and illnesses, so I feel that qualifies. They love me unconditionally, crawl into my lap and cuddle almost on command, never pitch a fit in the middle of the grocery store — and sure as hell get into less trouble than teenagers. Besides, when was the last time you could leave a 5-year-old child home alone for the weekend without a babysitter? Not an issue for me!

Every time I’m around one of my friends with children, I think to myself, “Thank God I have cats!” Of course, you’ve got the temper tantrums and the fights at school and the taking-the-car-without-permission issues to deal with. But even the good ones require constant attention 24 hours a day. It’s exhausting and I just don’t have it in me! Needless to say, there are MANY reasons why I find cats more satisfying than kids — here are 25 of them.

Fascist State -- Cat Sign IconBetter Behaved

 

  • my furbabies come when I call — unlike a crotch-dropling who will intentionally ignore you
  • I’ll never have to tell them to change clothes or clean off that makeup before leaving the house
  • they eat what I give them without complaint, and asking for chicken fingers or a Big Mac instead
  • when they bitch about something, it doesn’t matter — ‘cuz I can’t understand what they’re saying
  • they’re actually quite a bit smarter than your average grade-schooler

Fascist State -- Cat Pram IconLess Expensive

 

  • I’ll never have to buy my hairy progeny school supplies, eyeglasses, braces, or a new bike
  • they’ll never ask me for a raise in their allowance — or any allowance, for that matter
  • I’m not responsible for sending them to private school, summer camp, or an Ivy League university
  • they don’t demand the latest new toy — they’re entirely happy playing with a milk bottle ring
  • automatic feeder/waterer, clean litter box, and I can go out of town without hiring a sitter

Fascist State -- Cat Sign IconFewer Risks

 

  • my lady-girls will never take the car out for a joyride without permission
  • I didn’t have to birth to them myself
  • they love me unconditionally — and will never resent me or tell me they wish I weren’t their mom
  • I never have to keep track of  who they’re hanging out with
  • they’ve been fixed since infancy — so no chance of teenage pregnancy

Fascist State -- Cat Pram IconLess Time-Consuming

 

  • my boos don’t watch television or play video games until all hours, keeping me awake
  • I never have to get up in the middle of the night for a 2 AM feeding
  • bath time is a non-issue — as is the typical getting-ready-tug-of-war in the morning
  • no afterschool activities, no homework, no teacher conferences
  • they don’t spend all day on the phone or the internet

Fascist State -- Cat Sign IconFewer Messes

 

  • my 4-legged kids don’t generate 6 loads of dirty laundry each week
  • I never worry about them hammering nails into the coffee table or setting fire to the curtains
  • they came potty-trained — no diapers, no wet-wipes, no rash cream
  • kitty litter is scoopable — human baby poo isn’t
  • while they may urk up a hairball, they never throw food or wipe it on the walls
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Ramona Creel is an award-winning 15-year veteran organizer and member of the National Association Of Professional Organizers. As well as having birthed “The A-To-Z Of Getting Organized,” Ramona is also the author of “The Professional Organizer’s Bible: A Slightly Irreverent And Completely Unorthodox Guide For Turning Clutter Into A Career”—and the creator of more than 200 “quick-start” business tools and templates for use by productivity professionals. She writes seven different blogs, has worked with hundreds of clients, and has delivered scores of presentations on getting organized. Ramona resides on the roads of America as a full-time RVer—living and working in a 29-foot Airstream. Learn more at and RamonaCreel.com.

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44 Responses

  1. Ashley says:

    Damn you made some great points!!! I love my cat so much i dont know what i’d do without her no matter what kinda mood i am in she always cheers me up!! cats get such a bad rap for being cranky prissy unhygenic loners but my cat is so kind and talkitive and affectionate she is an awesome companion! you go girl!

  2. Christine says:

    Glad to know that there are others who feel the same as I. My cats bring out my maternal instincts like a human child never could.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Amen girl I know this sounds ironic, but I’m a 12 year old myself and hate kids my age and up about 6 years SO stupid and overrated I’m glad I’m a RARE good kid hehe and I’m a dude! Btw I think babies and toddlers are IDIOTIC LITTLE PUNKS. I was a horrible one now I’m the best kid I know and teaching my bff to be proper. 1 bore btw cats rule and are adorable!!!!!

  4. Anonymous says:

    “they don’t watch television or play video games”
    how can ANYTHING be superior by not doing that? it’s just plain stupid. The other 24 points are easy to agree with though.

  5. Ramona says:

    I’m glad I got 24/25 of your support ;) I’ve been around kids (and husbands) who are glued to some form of electronic entertainment, and they’re annoying as hell — I much prefer a cat focusing all his attention on me to someone watching Monday night football or playing Halo!

  6. Annie says:

    I’m glad there are people like me out there who think cats are better than kids :) I’m only 25 but my husband and I are content with our 3 cats and no kids. Our cats are great :D You made some really good points!

  7. Like cats but love kids says:

    You people sound shallow. Don’t want kids? Fine, better you didn’t have them then and you ought to be commended for your choice. But to truly think cats are better than kids is self serving crap and you should look deep in the mirror at your motivations

  8. Ramona says:

    Self-serving and shallow for preferring cats over kids, and I should look deep int he mirror at my motivations? Well I just have to share that one with my CFers for their comments. They’re going to have a field day!

  9. michelle says:

    I adore my cats so much, I will always choose their company over a crotch dropping any day! Plus i can add about 25 more reasons to your list for why cats are fabulous and children suck!

  10. CFBC says:

    Self serving? No more like honest. Her motivations are clear in her list.

  11. Kids: good on the bbq says:

    Reason #26: They’re not self-serving and full of attitude like “Like cats but love kids”.

  12. Ky says:

    I feel like that about my dog. Better than a kid any day of the week. P.S. “Self serving and Shallow” is what you call people who have children without thinking about it because it’s what others tell them they are supposed to do in life. You sound incredably selfish and shallow, as you believe the only path through life is the one you’ve chosen.

  13. Childfree but not lacking substance says:

    Like cats but love kids on 5/29/2012 I think it’s shallow to come onto a thread which clearly explains the writers’ own personal views and slam her for not sharing yours. To truly think that such an action is anything but shallow is self serving crap and I think you should look deep in the mirror at your motivations.

  14. kimsy says:

    @like cats but love kids: Get over yourself. We are not going to tiptoe around you and your petty little feelings re: children. We don’t want ’em, we don’t need ’em. We just happen to like cats better. Your whiny little comment does not change that, nor does it make us suddenly come to the bratlight. Get out.

  15. Sue says:

    I feel the same way about my ferrets. But I must disagree with one point. cats can ignore you calling them just as well as a child can. Sometimes better! The ferrets ignore me calling unless they think there’s a treat to be had.

  16. Sid says:

    Hum, I think “like cats but love kids” is just jealous because everything on the list is right and they realized they just made the wrong life choice.

  17. Michelle says:

    “Look deep in the mirror,” is such a contrived statement that really says nothing except the attempt to make the writer appear more intelligent than they really are. Tell me, EXACTLY how is liking cats better than children “self-serving crap?”

  18. Michelle says:

    To Like Cats but Love Kids: No response to my question? I didn’t think so.

  19. Dr. Psych says:

    Projection much, like cats but love kids? Me thinks it is YOU who is selfish and thinks it’s easier to take it out those that you are jealous of rather than to do the grown up thing and ignore this blog if you don’t agree with it. Why do you care what others do with their lives anyway? Here’s hoping that if you have kids (god help them if you do) that they don’t inherit that stick up the ass from you and not be able to detect humor and sarcasm. Cheers.

  20. Sarah says:

    Likes cat but love kids- why are you threatened that we don’t want to have kids? There is no concern that the population will die out. It is not selfish to not have kids. What is selfish is to have kids because people expect it.I am not asking you why you have children. We should not have to justify our reasons for not having them.

  21. Will always LOVE cats says:

    I think your screen name says it all. Why can’t you Love the kids AND the cats? Why is it that when the kids come along the pets always seem to get bumped down a notch or two?

    We KNOW the cats will never have the potential to win a spelling bee or graduate from high school. HECK! They won’t even get us a card on our birthday or take care of us when we are sick. We can’t even get them to do simple chores and yet we LOVE THEM ANYWAY. How is that shallow?

  22. Michele MG says:

    Hey YOU! “Like Cats but Love Kids” besides being a troll, why would you even being reading a childfree blog? Shouldn’t you be changing diapers or something?

  23. Kiely says:

    What a nut job!

  24. Ilyssa says:

    Wtf does he mean by your motivations??? I think you are pretty clear in your list!

  25. Childfree but not lacking substance says:

    @Ilyssa. Clearly she is planning to destroy the planet bit by bit kit by kit. Anyone who has chosen to not have children is clearly up to no good! bwahahaha

  26. Pickles says:

    Love this list and how true, though the cats at my mother’s don’t come when I call them as they are afraid I’m going to clean their ears! I could replace the “Cat” with “Dog” or “Rabbit” above except dogs need a babysitter which is easy for me when I go anywhere as she is much loved by the extended family. People that protest too much must be jealous of our free lifestyles!

  27. MistyKay says:

    Gosh, Like Cats. Self-serving for choosing cats over kids? I haven’t heard cat owners protesting because their screaming brats aren’t allowed in restaurants or movie theaters. I’ve never seen a cat owner insist on taking its howling cat on vacation, thereby disrupting an entire airplane. Not to mention cat-over-kid people aren’t contributing to an already overpopulated planet just because they want to carry on their genes/namesake.

  28. Angela says:

    To “Like Cats but Love Kids” — to have recognized the choice to prefer and love a cat over a kid isn’t self-serving. It’s simply a choice, and one that is made in the face of what others do out of many other factors besides their own wishes, including but not limited to societal and potential grandparent pressure, “the thing to do,” fear of feeling purposeless, actually being purposeless, and chasing down the dream to prove you can “have it all.” As far as examining our motives, it’s been done. Carefully, with intent and purpose. To choose a life that enriches the self (and caring for a cat in the meantime) isn’t selfish, as it’s impossible to be selfish to something that doesn’t exist. In fact, if more people chose the same instead of giving into breeding, we’d have a much healthier, intelligent life force on this planet than one who can’t deal with the kids they create and throw themselves – and their kids – on meds.

  29. Kate says:

    Of course I’ll look in the mirror! Hmmm.. what do I see? A person who gets sleep at night, and has time to care about their appearance. A person who gets along great with her husband and still goes on date nights. I’m a dog rescuer, a photographer, an artsy chica that knows her way around power tools. I see someone who can bake, sew, and paint… and actually has the time to do these things. I see a happy person that can not fathom why anyone would put their life on hold to have kids. I actually LIKE my life and see no reason to give it away to help overpopulate the world. In my opinion, having kids is an excuse to not face the world yourself. So you have kids to hide behind their life and the “parent” title, therefore not having to face the world for yourself, and possibly fail at whatever you try.

  30. Adel says:

    cats or pets in general don’t disappoint you,they never cry,scream,kill someone,steal,fail at school or life,they always make you laugh and have a good time,etc….

    oh and yes,cats can be better parents than human breeders !.

  31. Angela says:

    Pets over kids! Hands down!

  32. AmyH says:

    “Loves kids” doesn’t get it. Which really just shows how self centered they are because they can’t accept a different view point or opinion

  33. SoullessGinger says:

    It’s great that some people will always remain close minded. We’re not the same, asshat. I don’t like the color yellow. Perhaps you do. That makes me a self serving asshole because of it? Oh, and please explain to me, in all your ‘infinite’ wisdom, how having kids is NOT self serving? How? I have yet to hear one reasoning behind having children that doesn’t perpetuate genetics, give false sense of security in old age and faux immortality. Their reasonings are all the same. Some selfish crap to feed their own crazy desires. Which, if they really want kids, they would do the honorable thing and adopt, or attempt to adopt in order to help those who are actually in need. If you claim to like kids, but do nothing with the ones already here and in need, you’re a hypocrite.

  34. Christine says:

    I think with “like cats but love kids”, he/she is trying to convince him/herself, more than anyone else. There’s an element of “misery loves company” behind the motivation for such posts. One more reason cats are better than kids: Kids don’t purr.

  35. David says:

    Cats don’t produce 80 years of CO2 emission..

  36. Sparky says:

    by Like cats but love kids on 5/29/2012 8:14:27 PM:

    You people sound shallow. Don’t want kids? Fine, better you didn’t have them then and you ought to be commended for your choice.

    REALLY!?!?! I hate it when people assume that because others don’t have kids, they don’t want them! How ’bout those of us who CAN’T have kids! Ever stop and think about that side? Now who’s being shallow???

  37. Jeffrey B says:

    I love how when I come home from work, my two cats run to me. I am their Cat Leader/Cat Dad

  38. Ramona says:

    Ours are the same way. When Matt pulls up in the truck, they know it is him. I get them all excited by saying, “Who is that? Is that the daddyman?” in that voice (you know the voice I’m talking about!) And by the time he gets to the front door, they are meowing and jumping around and pouncing all over him!

  39. pet-less parent says:

    “So you have kids to hide behind their life and the “parent” title, therefore not having to face the world for yourself, and possibly fail at whatever you try.”

    Sure Kate, I bet that’s what your parents thought… that they’d fail at anything else. Since you don’t have children you can’t possibly understand that raising them requires more work than any career or personal pursuit. That’s why you’re not having them, because its requiring too much of you… you’re not willing to work that hard. You know what, maybe you’re parents DID fail at everything. They raised a vapid, limited, and hateful child who attacks anything it does not understand. But I think you do understand it. Its so much work, effort, and life-long labor to raise children, that you do not have the strength of will and virtue to attempt it yourself. BUT, rather than laud those who do, while admitting you yourself will not (and being tolerant and accepting of people who live differently than you), you attack to belittle, limit, and minimize parents to make yourself seem or feel superior. You are horribly insecure, knowing that you do not have what it takes or simply aren’t willing to try. THAT is the sign of a small and insignificant person who chooses to destroy instead of create, because it is too hard for you to pursue achievement commensurate with your glorified view of yourself. this entire post is sick: the result of an idle, self-centered, uneducated generation that aimlessly wanders with the singular goal of glutting themselves on any substance or pursuit that will provide pleasure. Human beings who are, in a word, useless.

  40. Catherine says:

    @pet-less Parent- hey that is a lot of hatred towards directed towards these people. Everyone cant’ have kids because if everyone had kids, there will be serious problems on the planet for everyone. However, since most people have kids, those that opt out are often left out and considered strange or there is something wrong with them. This is bad because it puts pressure on many people to be “normal” and reproduce. This is bad because really-it’s better for at least some of us not to have kids, the population is getting out of hand. Instead of encouraging us to hang our heads in shame over our choices, we should be respected, and not looked down upon. That being said; to answer the question “are cats better then kids” I didn’t know seeing as I never had a kid I don’t have reference to compare. Here I am seeing that yes, they are. That is all I wanted to know. Thanks.

  41. Ready for pets now, Ready for kids later says:

    People who choose not to have their own kids are helping to prevent overpopulation in the world. People who do have their own kids have that right and it’s wonderful that they choose to go through all that time and effort and hopefully their offspring will benefit society. But people with kids have the mentality of a “club” where non members who haven’t given in to social pressure to have kids very young are a threat to their way of live. Of course they will assault and insult anyone who thinks differently. Pointing out that someone may be happier without their children can make many parents feel personally attacked and they will respond in kind. Though their actions are undesirable, it can’t be prevented. Of course pet owners are also entitled to respond with further anger that they were insulted for their way of life. It’s a vicious cycle really. Right now I’m on the pet side of the fence, but I know one day I will join the club. And by then I will have lived enough to be ready for it, and I won’t regret it. Unlike if I had children now. I would hate myself forever if I had children now. I’m not ready for that …stuff.

  42. Maria says:

    Hahahah, I love how these “proud parent” people are FULL to the very peak of pure, raw, crude hatred, loathe, jealousy, envy and overall crap. They try so bad (in all senses) to convince others that they are not exactly what they are: big L losers. I love how they insult others and patronize them, which is so unwanted thanks, about their “virtues”, when one just can think, just by reading them online, of what an angry and resentful kind of people they might be, when they are attacking happy strangers on the net. They talk about sacrifice and accomplishments when they are so deranged and delerict emotionally, spiritually and most likely financially they can’t even control themselves on the internet. And, most definitely, they NEVER appear happy at all. They never talk about the rewards, personal growth, serenity that comes from having kids. They just talk about “having what it takes” lol!!! As if being in a tough, uncertain, not rewarding at all and miser situation emotionally, spiritually and most definitely financially was something to be proud of, one that all humanity should definitely seek. Idiots advocating for idiocy, dogmatics, fanatics who don’t want to be the only losers around and would just burn other, happier people at the stake for not being big L losers like then, and because they are just DYING of so much hatred towards parenting they can just feel anger towards other human beings. What a mighty and virtuous example of what parenting does to one!! Oh yes thank you we really get the message lol.

  43. Lilly-Belle's-Owner says:

    I agree.

    You make very reasonable points. I have cats and boy do i love em!

    I also have a toddler niece. But being a cat owner with autism does not help with my lack of patience with her. I can’t find it in me to do what everyone else does. Baby-talk to her, cus it makes me feel really weird, and her babbling is like alien speech. And her crying is too much.

    Only until she turns like 6 or something i might be able to communicate with her.

    So i know I’ll never want to have kids. I have no patience.

    Lilly-Belle, my black cat, is my true baby.

  44. Randy says:

    100% agree, cats are better than human kids.

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