Method Behind The Madness

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How The Whole ‘True’ Thing Works (Holistic-Life-Decrapification-And-Suckage-Reduction In Action)

As a species, homo sapiens spend far too much of our precious time-and-mental-energy normalizing dysfunction — pretending everything’s fine instead of tearing the scabs off our wounds so they can heal. Take it from a former all-star-olympic-gold-medal-level-my-face-on-a-wheaties-box-façade-master, admitting that life ain’t perfect is highly cathartic. It’s like all them twelve-steppers say — only after a fearless and searching inventory can you kick the crap out of those addictions. (“My name is Ramona, and I compulsively take on waaaay more projects than I will ever be able to complete in a lifetime. Where’s the free coffee?”) Making things better requires a brutal combination of honesty and awareness about your suckage — so dig deep and really OWN whatever you have going on that’s in need of fixing. Together, we can create a lasting change in your environment, thoughts, and behaviors — one that will encourage a permanent upward-quality-of-life-shift and a big-frigging-leap-forward toward your dreams.

I don’t just re-arrange environments/businesses/lives — I fight dysfunction at its source. The disconnect between what you value and what you prioritize, what you want and what you have. This incongruity is why you accumulate things you don’t need, why you have a hard time saying “no” when you’re already grossly overloaded, why you avoid dealing with that pile-of-clutter-crap-mile-long-to-do-list-month-old-stack-of-papers that causes you such stress. It’s why you keep working a job you hate when you know you were meant for something better, why you struggle to get your business off the ground even though you’re working at it 80-hours-a-week, why your company is “stuck” on a that frustrating-bang-your-head-against-a-wall-I-know-I-could-be-serving-more-people-but-I-just-don’t-know-how-to-do-it-plateau.It’s also why you can’t quite get your ducks in row to hit the road in that motorhome-fifth-wheel-travel-trailer, why you embrace tiny-house-non-materialistic-wanderlusty-freedom but are still chained to a huge storage unit full of crap back home, why you keep putting your full-time-travel dreams off until “someday.” You see, the stuff isn’t the problem. The overwhelm isn’t the problem. All those external pressure/distractions/complications you like to blame for getting in the way of your dreams ain’t even close to being the problem. These are all just symptoms of a deeper disease.Something else is making your road through life bumpy, and I’m there to help fill those potholes — using all my annoying questions and kick-ass-problem-solving-skillz as hotpatch. (How’s that for a metaphor?)

Shit’s About To Get Real

My clients joke that most of what I do is ask a lot of annoying questions — but there’s a method to my madness. I’m helping you to become aware of the traps you’ve fallen into over the years, the excuses you have for hanging on to things and habits and beliefs and activities that do nothing to enhance your life (and may actually be detracting from it). I’m forcing you to move beyond indecision, to make a conscious choice about which aspects of your life are worth keeping, and which need to be released. Most importantly, I’m giving you permission to change whatever ain’t working.

My job is to help you:

  • figure out what things you really-really want in life (as opposed to “them-other-things-you’ve-been-told-you-should-want-and-so-you-act-like-you-want-’em-even-though-you-actually-don’t”), and then
  • find a way to have those things, whatever it takes

So that includes pretty much any:

  • self-sabotaging belief/behavior that blocks you from being able to live honestly and authentically
  • circumstance that causes a misalignment between your professed values/priorities and daily reality
  • complication/dysfunction that keeps you from pursuing your dreams or achieving your ideal self

If it makes you feel stuck and has you tolerating some less-than-satisfying-not-quite-what-you-wanted life that society handed you, rather than getting out there and craft a cramazing-awesomeballs existence you fucking love — it’s on my list!

Breaking Through The Maze

After you’ve been mired in clutter and chaos for a long time, you sort of stop noticing it. I don’t mean the mess just magically goes away — all those stacks and piles and frustrations are still there. But over time, you mostly learn to ignore them.

It’s like that chronic ache in your back. When the pain flares up, you feel like you really should get this looked at — then before you can schedule an appointment, that cranky nerve quiets down to a dull throb and you convince yourself to wait. It waxes and wanes, never getting bad enough for you to actually DO anything about it — until one day when you wake up totally crippled, kicking yourself in the ass for not having gone to the doctor sooner!

In every part of my life (but especially when holding clients accountable to their goals), I’m all about awareness. You can’t fix a problem until you clarify it — so that’s exactly what we’re going to do here on the organize-and-simplify side of things. I’ve compiled a few handy-dandy self-assessment tools, designed to help you determine how serious your situation is (plus a couple-three suggestions for regaining control, to go along with each). No rules, except that you have to be 100% honest with yourself about what’s not working — fudging the broken stuff ain’t going to help any part of your life get any better.

The most important thing I ever do is help my clients draw healthier boundaries — and that starts with awareness.

Focus On The Stuff Just Ain’t Enough

Throughout the years of working with clients (and along my own personal path to simplicity) I have discovered one universal fact about change — it has to be a holistic process. Adjustments in one area of your life are going to encourage shifts in other areas. And while having an organized home or happy marriage, a satisfying job or a productive schedule is great — any of these things by itself isn’t enough. “True” requires a wholesale realignment of your priorities.

I’m not promising to fix one problem area of your life — I’m promising to transform your whole life.

Let’s talk for a minute about all those “30-days-to-debt-freedom,” “lose-a-dress-size-in-a-week,” “dream-career-by-end-of-the-year” schemes. You know the type — offering a quick one-time fix for a single aspect of your being while conspicuously ignoring everything else. Contrary to crock-of-shit “compartmentalization” theories, if something ain’t working in one arena, it ain’t working in EVERY arena. On the surface, it may seem like you’re nailing it vocationally even though you’re a domestic dumpster fire, that kid-tantrums at home have zero impact on your adult relationships elsewhere, or that you’ve got willpower to spare as long we’re talking about something non-chocolate — but if you dig deep enough (where the painful honesty lives), you’ll find a streak of inauthenticity that’s actually running-through-and-fucking-with your whole world.

That’s why I don’t have separate programs for “A True Personal Life” and “A True Work Life.” Your life is your life, and your work is part of that — just like your health or home or finances or kids. Each of these is an integral part of who you are and inseparable from the whole.

No wonder your most valiant past transformation efforts have failed over and over again — it’s not because you suck, but because you were trying to cure a macro-level disease with a micro-level solution — that’s why my program takes a LEGITIMATELY holistic approach, drilling right down to the core of what’s keeping you from a true-across-the-board existence, rather than endlessly dicking around with a zillion tiny superficial symptoms.

You also have to keep in mind that “True” is a journey, not a destination — human beings are dynamic-ever-evolving creatures. Shit changes — sometimes due to external circumstances, sometimes because of an internal mindset shift. And the way you structure your world HAS to adjust with it — your life is gonna need some adjusting to stay in alignment or you end up miserable. I’m creating a way to make those multiple-life-transitions a hell of a lot easier and more satisfying.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there’s no such place as “done.” That’s why, lover of lifetime learning that I am, I’ve designed things so that you can revisit these lessons over and over again, at each new juncture and at each new point of transition in a person’s life (but from a higher level than you were at when you did them before) — we’re not shoring up a single tilty-wall, we’re gonna rip that sucker down to the ground, repour a totally customized foundation, do it the RIGHT way from the ground up, and rebuild your life from scratch to look/feel/smell/taste/function the way you always wanted it to!

My goal is to root out inauthenticity wherever it lives — be that in your finances, personal relationships, parenting skills, daily routine, business procedures, you name it. But you can’t address one area of life without tackling the rest or you end up with imbalance (and eventually, those neglected-and-still-out-of-alignment areas are going to come back and bite you in the ass — undoing all your hard work in other spaces).

“True” is both a means and an end — a tool for achieving other goals, but also a pretty gotdamn good place to be on its own, regardless of anything else you accomplish in your life.

Simplifying, One Of The Most Important Steps

I’ve discovered that everything in life is about decluttering — cleaning out that which weighs you down in order to make room for the truly important things in life. It all creates space for living authentically — whether you’re eliminating spending leaks and reducing debt to achieve financial independence, clearing up toxic relationships and learning how to draw healthy boundaries, or deciding how much house is “enough” and considering a downsize, changing careers so you can make time those passions that had fallen by the wayside.

Holistic-life-decrapification-and-reduction-of-suckage is about learning how to let-go-of-that-which-does-not-work, changing the behaviors that cause chaos, and developing more constructive habits that will keep you life livable you turn off the TV. Lugging your proverbial junk out to the curb and slapping on a fresh coat of metaphorical paint on things, so to speak.

Cure The Illness, Not Just The Symptoms

I don’t just re-arrange environments/businesses/lives — I fight dysfunction at its source.

The disconnect between what you value and what you prioritize, what you want and what you have.

This incongruity is why you accumulate things you don’t need, why you have a hard time saying “no” when you’re already grossly overloaded, why you avoid dealing with that pile-of-clutter-crap-mile-long-to-do-list-month-old-stack-of-papers that causes you such stress.

It’s why you keep working a job you hate when you know you were meant for something better, why you struggle to get your business off the ground even though you’re working at it 80-hours-a-week, why your company is “stuck” on a that frustrating-bang-your-head-against-a-wall-I-know-I-could-be-serving-more-people-but-I-just-don’t-know-how-to-do-it-plateau.

It’s also why you can’t quite get your ducks in row to hit the road in that motorhome-fifth-wheel-travel-trailer, why you embrace tiny-house-non-materialistic-wanderlusty-freedom but are still chained to a huge storage unit full of crap back home, why you keep putting your full-time-travel dreams off until “someday.”

You see, the stuff isn’t the problem. The overwhelm isn’t the problem. All those external pressure/distractions/complications you like to blame for getting in the way of your dreams ain’t even close to being the problem.

These are all just symptoms of a deeper disease.

Something else is making your road through life bumpy, and I’m there to help fill those potholes — using all my annoying questions and kick-ass-problem-solving-skillz as hotpatch. (How’s that for a metaphor?)

Shit’s About To Get Real

My clients joke that most of what I do is ask a lot of annoying questions — but there’s a method to my madness.

I’m helping you to become aware of the traps you’ve fallen into over the years, the excuses you have for hanging on to things and habits and beliefs and activities that do nothing to enhance your life (and may actually be detracting from it).

I’m forcing you to move beyond indecision, to make a conscious choice about which aspects of your life are worth keeping, and which need to be released. Most importantly, I’m giving you permission to change whatever ain’t working.

As a species, homo sapiens spend far too much of our precious time-and-mental-energy normalizing dysfunction — pretending everything’s fine instead of tearing the scabs off our wounds so they can heal. Take it from a former all-star-olympic-gold-medal-level-my-face-on-a-wheaties-box-façade-master, admitting that life ain’t perfect is highly cathartic.

It’s like all them twelve-steppers say — only after a fearless and searching inventory can you kick the crap out of those addictions. (“My name is Ramona, and I compulsively take on waaaay more projects than I will ever be able to complete in a lifetime. Where’s the free coffee?”) Making things better requires a brutal combination of honesty and awareness about your suckage — so dig deep and really OWN whatever you have going on that’s in need of fixing.

Together, we can create a lasting change in your environment, thoughts, and behaviors — one that will encourage a permanent upward-quality-of-life-shift and a big-frigging-leap-forward toward your dreams.  But we need a few things to happen:

  • the why (before we do anything, we gots to get REAL clear about what actually motivates-and-matters-most to you, even if that true priority directly contradicts the desires you profess — otherwise, we’re headed the wrong way down the road from the start)
  • the what (that’s where I evaluate your situation, listen to your concerns, observe how you function in daily life, and help to pinpoint exactly what’s getting in the way — then we’ll decide on the appropriate steps for kicking the crap out of those problem areas)
  • the how (this is where we get into the mechanics of implementing practical-life-change techniques, simplifying daily routines, and customizing systems for maintaining the changes you make — preventing clutter and disorganization from taking over your life — reducing the energy “have-tos” take so you’ve got more time for previously-neglected “want-tos” — assuring that you’re always focusing on your top-and-true-priorities — overcoming obstacles with grace — locating the necessary resources to make your dreams come true)
  • the when (your life didn’t get where it is right now overnight, so you have to understand it may take a minute to undo those limiting beliefs and less-than-constructive habits, or to reach that higher level you’ve been aiming at — and while I’m yours for as long as you need, I have no interest in hand-holding-with-you forever — my goal is empowerment, getting you in a place where you can do it yourself once I’m not around)

You Don’t Need More, You Need Less

If trying to get ye olde shit together has overwhelmed you in the past, I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise (how could the ridiculous culture of self-improvement our society has created NOT be overwhelming) – every week, some expert comes out with a new “guaranteed” system for achieving happiness (but no worries when that one fails, cuz there will be another even better solution to try next, and another and another and another).

You don’t need more (more rules, more structure, more discipline, more measurements, more things to read and actions to take and solutions to try) to have the life you want — you need less.

I’m not here to heap a load of “you just need the right motivation and you can do it” guilt/stress on your shoulders, to pile a crapton of unrealistic happiness-requirements on your already-overflowing plate — to band-aid your frustrations with a bunch of “mechanical” skills in the hopes that all your woes will magically transform the minute you start color-coding your closet or chore-charting your kids or blocking off admin time in your calendar. My job is to help you create an authentic-as-fuck existence that matches the ideal picture in your head, not a “somewhat improved version of the you who’s currently living someone else’s dreams.” That means critically evaluating all the CRAP (including misguided beliefs, self-destructive behaviors, screwed-up societal expectations, unmeetable standards of achievement, irrelevant-to-what-you-really-want-in-the-world educational/career demands, and fine-for-someone-else-but-totally-flawed-for-what-you-want-out-of-life expert advice) cluttering up your world, so we can determine which of it is in alignment with and which actively contradicts your professed core values.

Go watch the talk shows, visit with Uncle Google, and raid the self-help section so you can learn all about the 2,587 different “right” ways of setting up a filing system, choosing a workout routine, parenting your kids, decluttering your home, running a business, managing your finances, or whatever-the-hell-else you’re trying to accomplish — then come see me so we can sift through everybody else’s ideas about how you should live, apply some basic authenticity principles to the available options, and custom-build a path that really RESONATES (and I’m talking balls-to-bones) with your true self.

  • The first step is to define and identify what a person really desires, even if it clashes with their current way of doing things and doesn’t even come close to resembling what the world around them says they should want or have.
  • Next, we examine all the mechanical “do-this-don’t-do-that-use-this-system-follow-this-schedule” rules they’ve been given over the years — well-intentioned advice that has become so freaking overwhelming, it’s created a sense of overload so powerful and pervasive that they now do NOTHING with it (aside from feel guilty that still don’t have the life they want).
  • We whittle out the crap that doesn’t resonate, mold the remainder to suit both their personal proclivities and that ideal existence they’re aiming at — and create an environment that supports them actually achieving those goals (even if they’ve failed at it a dozen times before).
  • Most importantly, I help them grow the ovaries to do whatever is necessary in order to HAVE this thing that they say they want so badly — norms-and-conventions-and-excuses-and-distractions-be-damned!

I mean for all this mess to supplement the learning of “mechanics.” (I’m there to help folks work “on” their life/biz, not “in” or “at” or “around” it.) I won’t be instructing anyone on how to set up a filing cabinet or balance their books or create a to-do list or write a business plan. But what I will be doing is showing those same peeps (as well as the professionals they hire to help with said issues) how to give each system/technique/decision a heart and soul — how to turn all that effort into a living-breathing-walking-talking part of their lives. Something that feeds their dreams and lights a fire in their belly, rather than just another chore to complete.

Wow — I went into WAAAAAAY more detail than I intended! But I’m just so excited about this new direction and what it might mean for clients who get stuck trying to implement all the amazing instructional shit my organizy-coachy-consulty-transformationy type colleagues have to offer.

‘What’ Comes Before ‘How’ (In Life, If Not The Dictionary)

“But I can’t!” you cry. “I’m stuck — so deeply mired that I can’t even begin to imagine a different world.

Well then, that will be the first thing we work on.

The hardest question I can ask an overwhelmed person is, “With what do you need help?” (Not because most folks are unfamiliar with grammatical-correctness, but because they don’t actually have any clue what they want in life, besides the vague notion that it could somehow be “better.”) That’s okay — a good bit of what I do is help my peeps clarify (then prioritize) their wants and needs.

I get that this whole life-change thing can be tricky, even if you do have a solid idea of the end result you desire.

You’d like to make more money or feel healthier or create more balance between your business and family — but you don’t know how to begin.

My job is to understand which steps will get you where you want to go, and then turn those into an action plan — breaking your large goal down into manageable bites and finding the resources you need to succeed.

In my world, clutter is anything unnecessary or extraneous — something that takes up space without giving you any tangible benefit. But I’m talking about more than a pile of unread magazines or an overstuffed junk drawer. The most insidious clutter we face is the kind that clogs your schedule, finances, relationships, mind, and heart — I’m here to give you a a holistic “clean-sweep” for your whole life!

Not happy with your work? Does maintaining your living environment take too much time and effort? Tired of living paycheck-to-paycheck? Do you wish you could teach your children that happiness doesn’t come from the mall? Would you like to have the breathing space to just sit back and relax every once in a while? I can help!

You’re probably saying, “Hmmm…getting my life in order sounds good! But how does it work? What the heck will you do to help me that I couldn’t do myself?” Good question! There is no one set “formula” for having the life you want — it’s a very personal process, and the path is different for each individual. What works in your life may not be the same thing that works in mine — but what matters most is that YOU are happy with the results.

Let Me Make Your Roadblocks My Bitch

Change the quality of the questions you ask yourself, change your life. My job is to ask you a better question than you’ve been asking yourself. Instead of getting tangled up in loop of unproductive “why” questioning, that move you toward action/change/improvement – what do I need to learn here, how can I do this differently, what opportunities am I not seeing?

I can sum my services up in one simple equation:

Eliminating all those bullshit rationalizations + destroying fallacious myths about how life works = living in integrity.

But let’s get one thing very clear — I am an Accountability Guru, not a “coach.” Too many of my clients have had really-really-REALLY bad experiences working with supposed “coaches” — folks with no clue how to root out a problem or facilitate a major life change, who took a couple of active listening classes, hung out a shingle, and  (completely misinterpreting the “co-active” principle of letting clients find their own solutions) now spend their sessions performing an old-timey cliché of a psychiatrist saying, “Tell me more.”

If you’ve been frustrated in the past by coaches who endlessly probe for inner strength and creative resourcefulness (without ever helping you land on an actual course of action), you’re in luck — I take a far more directed approach. When I describe what I do with my clients, my best explanation is “remedial stop-bullshitting-yourself tutor.” Yes, we’ll explore your feelings and motivations and roadblocks — but then, we’re going to take all those vague, nebulous inner sensations and turn them into concrete action steps. Then (and here’s the most exciting part), you’ll be expected to DO them. If all you want to do is talk, you might try calling that late-night-advice lady on the radio, instead.

Multiple-Personality Disorder As A Job Skill

Do you need someone to support and affirm and validate you? Or someone to help you brainstorm new ideas and push beyond your current limits? Or someone who will call you on your bullshit and hold you responsible for achieving your goals? Maybe a little bit of each? Just call me Sybil!

While you’ll always get a good solid dose of “Ramona” (not matter what hat I’m wearing), I own a lot of chapeaus — and I’m not afraid to use them! Depending on what’s happening in our conversation, what kind of support you need (and how saucy I’m feeling that day), you might see me whip one of several different personas:

  • mentor — she’s the one who supports your wildest dreams (no matter how cuckoo they might seem to you), provides a safe space for wing-stretchage (while simultaneously shielding those feathered appendages from accidental amputation by a passing jetliner), and gives your goals a surrogate teat to suck (when it feel like yours has run dry) so they can grow up big and strong
  • visioneer — your Mt. Neverest sherpa does whatever it takes to reach the summit, scouting new approaches (when the path you were on is leading straight toward a drop-off), helping maintain a focus-on-the-peak-while-taking-one-step-at-a-time sense of perspective, carrying baggage, fixing ropes (and physically dragging you up the cliff face by the scruff of your neck, if necessary)
  • taskmaster — a wanna-be dominatrix (that I’ve lovingly named “Mistress Helga”) who turns vague wishes into action steps, teaching you how to set and meet deadlines, making sure you complete your homework assignments (staying after school with this babe is AWESOME), using that sexy little riding crop of hers to keep you on-track-and-focused-on-the-carrot as you move forward
  • cheerleader — this babe pulls out the crazy-ass pom-poms (mine are covered in glitter) and reminds you how freaking amazing you are, pointing out how much you’ve accomplished (when you appear to have completely forgotten your most awesome achievements) and giving that ego a well-deserved pat on the back (when it’s tired of the endless butt-bruisings you administer)

What I Want For You

I have a pretty clear-and-comprehensive list of the kinds of shit I help clients with — the get-organized-simplify-your-life-kind, the trying-to-be-a-better-business-person-kind, and the hitting-the-road-as-an-rver-kind.

I spend a lot of time helping clients clarify what they want from our time together.

Answers on the personal side range from “I’m tired of my life feeling so out of control” to “I want to actually complete the projects I’ve started and only half-finished” — from “I’d like to get out of debt and become financially independent” to “It’s time for me to adopt some healthier habits” — from “I’ve got to get better about drawing personal boundaries” to “I’m not happy in my job and am ready to make a career change.”

Business replies include everything from “I’m just getting started and I have no idea what all I need to do” to “I’ve been in business for a while and I feel like I’m stuck” — “I want to be more effective with my clients” to “I don’t understand why folks aren’t hiring me, or what I need to do differently to close a sale” — “Entrepreneurship is stressing me out and I need to find a way to make it all more manageable” to “I’m ready to take my existing company to the next level.”

And wanderluster desires run the gamut from “I’m not sure if the full-timing lifestyle is for me” to “How do I know when I’m ready?” — from “I want to do this, but the logistics of buying a rig and travel days and all tat planning scare the hell out of me” to “I love my RV, but I struggle with making the best use of such limited space” — from “I need help figuring out how to make money on the road” to “I don’t know where to begin cleaning out all the stuff I won’t need anymore.”

But I also like my folks to understand what I want for them.

Because I do want things for them — the same way a teacher wants her students to succeed, or a parent wants to see her children thrive. (Well maybe more “a crazy lady wants to see her cats purring-well-fed-and-hairball-free — since I’m so vociferously kid-free.)

Here’s what I want for you as a human being:

  • I want you to experience abundance – for you to walk through your days feeling as if you always have enough of everything.
  • I want you to know joy — to discover what truly makes you happy and have that in your life.
  • I want you to live simply — create your own definition of success, one without overwhelm, overload, frustration.
  • I want you to free yourself from clutter — in your time, space, paper, finances, relationship, and own head.
  • I want you to follow your heart — to ignore the naysayers, actively pursue whatever you want in this world, trust your instincts when it tells you which direction to go.
  • I want you to take control — whatever we work on, for you to be empowered to do it on your own.
  • I want you to treat yourself kindly — be willing to give yourself the time, space, and encouragement to be the best “you” possible.
  • I want you break free — from the sense of forever-falling-behind overwhelm, the hopelessly suffocating out-of-controlledness.
  • I want you to protect yourself — to evict that sadistic little fucker in the back of your head who loves to point out how many times you’ve tried (and failed) to get your shit together.
  • I want you to own your life – for you to take charge of your own fulfillment, rather than relying on other people or external events to make you happy.
  • I want your work to be profitable — for you to easily bring in more than enough income to support your biggest, boldest dreams of entrepreneurship.
  • I want every moment of your professional life to be filled with joy — for you to wake up each morning excited about those challenges and successes that await you.
  • I want you to be seen as an industry leader — for your voice to rise above the others, as an expert and authority figure within your field.
  • I want you to have a love-affair with your clients — for them to be so devoted to you and your brand that they shout your praises from the mountaintops.
  • I want your amazing sense of confidence to manifest endless opportunity — for serendipities to fall in your lap from out of nowhere, drawn in by your positive proactive nature.
  • I want you to draw healthy boundaries around your business — for you to protect yourself from less-than-perfect clients, overwhelm, workaholism, and stress.
  • I want you to present your authentic self to the world — for you to leave the conformist crowds behind, proudly marching to the beat of your own drummer.
  • I want you to be proud of what you accomplish — for you to forever silence that nagging voice in the back of your head that says you’re not enough.
  • I want you to do things you never thought you could do — for you to trust your own abilities enough that you’re willing to take a risk and sail into uncharted waters.
  • I want you to love being an entrepreneur — for you to recognize what a gift self-employment is, and to fully embrace the benefits of being your own boss
  • I want you to be bendy-as-hell — no matter what happens, you can handle it without stress.
  • I want you to experience the world — to meet amazing people, have incredible experiences.
  • I want you to be free to explore — plenty of funds to support your wanderlust, no worries holding you down.
  • I want you to lighten the load — let go of the excess stuff, responsibilities, expenses, and property you no longer need.
  • I want you to create a home on the road — find a rig that you love, connect with a supportive rolling community, and design a mobile live that you love.
  • I want you to live your values — whether you’re about tiny houses, ecological greenitude, freedom, or frugality.
  • I want you to get off the beaten path — find yourself lost (in the best possible way), end up in places you never considered, having adventures you never planned, and loving the hell out of it.
  • I want you to stop and smell the roses — not be in such a hurry to reach the next destination that you miss out on the journey.
  • I want you to travel for the right reason — not to escape some unpleasantry, but to live more fully.
  • I want you to live the life you want — not the one someone else has designed for you.

OMG, I Need Me Some Of This — Desuckify Me!

So you’re ready for a big-ass-life-shift, and you want me to be the one to help you make it? Wow — you’re either really brave or a freaking masochist! Regardless, I’m pleased as a wife-beating puppet to offer some fresh insight into your situation — let me also say goodonya for taking that first step down the occasionally-ankle-twisting-yet-perennially-rewarding path toward change!

Of course, before we get started, I’m gonna wanna have a for-realz-on-the-phone conversation with you (I call these “Desuckification Consults”) — our purpose here is to:

  • make sure we’re a good match
  • assess your life-change commitment level (no shame if you ain’t truly ready — but I don’t want you to get frustrated because you’re not making progress when the problem is simply that you’re not yet in the right place for such a major shift — I’d rather you start off slow with some DIY-type-stuff, then come back to me when you’re in super-high gear)
  • feel you up to get some idea of what you’re hoping to accomplish

Once you hit that “schedule” button, you and I will get on the phone and spend 30-45-ish minutes chatting about anything you like. Wanna discuss job frustrations, relationship annoyances, creative roadblocks, how you wish you could get out of debt, or your dreams of ditching everything and backpacking around the world? Great! If you’d rather explore negative gender stereotypes in film, moral justifications for assisted suicide, or the sociopolitical ramifications of industrialization — I’m on board with that too. NO football, or I will hang the fuck up on you!

I talk lightning fast — so prepare for bombardment, and have a pen/pencil handy! I’mma toss out bunches of ideas and bust through a crapload of obstacles — suggesting resources, clarifying professed-priority-versus-daily-practice mismatches, locating hidden strengths/opportunities, and identifying a few steps you can take to translate all that mess into a coherent roadmap for change.

There will be profanity. (Shocker.) There will also be questions. Many, many questions. Some of ‘em (the hard ones you’ve been avoiding — and especially the REALLY hard ones about why you’re on a path leading someplace you never wanted to go) may hurt. They might even piss you off. They’ll definitely make you think. It’s all good — just means we’ve uncovered a hidden desire that’s been buried too deep for too long. (The coaching equivalent of ripping an infected scab off a festering, pus-filled wound so it can heal — FYI, I also come with a fair sprinkling of the gross stuff!)

And what is your job during this craziness? To be honest. Vulnerable. True. I need to hear what’s REALLY going on behind that veneer you use to hide your dissatisfaction, your restlessness, your hunger for something “different” or “better” or “more.” And of course we gots to feel each other out (or feel each other up, depending on your predilections) — get to know one another and decide if we’re a match. Does my communication style match your needs? Is my problem-solving in line with your expectations? Do you see a relationship with me helping you move in the right direction?

When Can We Meet In Person?

Whenever you want. (I’m not kidding about that either.)

Ah luvs mah tribe — and, unlike some folks who try to do everything online, ah loves connecting with them in person.

If I just-so-happen-to-be-full-time-wanderlusting through your town, I’m happy to schedule a cara-a-cara session with you — however (considering the mercurial nature of my travel schedule) I wouldn’t recommend putting-off-overcoming-those-obstacles-changing-life-for-the-better-and-achieving-your-wildest-dreams while you wait on my sorry ass to haul itself to your part of the world!

I I’m 3,000 miles away and you just can’t survive without my sparkling personality right there in the same room, we can make that happen as well. Cover my travel expenses, and I’ll come to wherever you want. Best of all, I’m a cheap-freaking date — fly me coach, put me up in your guest room rather than a hotel, feed me home-cooked meals, I ain’t complaining. Whatever it takes to get you moving in the right direction!

Time For A Braingasm Breakthrough


You might be asking yourself, “Why do I need all this other junk, when I could just buy a self-help book?”

My first question would be, “How many self-help books do you already own?”

My second would be, “And how’s that worked out for you?”

Ask any sexually-frustrated virgin who’s addicted to romance novels — the unfortunate fact of the matter is that reading about things will only get you so far. And call me presumptuous, but I’m guessing that if the whole buy-a-book-change-your-life thing had gone as intended, you wouldn’t be here.

Enjoying my witty repartee.

If you’re really serious about transformation (and I assume you are if you’re putting up with all of my B.S.) then at some point you’ve got to nut up. That’s what this program is all about — trading the many road-to-hell-paving good intentions that have been obstructing your path for honest-to-Beelzebub forward momentum. Whether you’re reading my blogs or listening to my podcasts, participating in a TrueJunkie challenge or hiring me to work with you one-on-one — I will always be pushing you a step or two farther than you thought you could go, encouraging you toward meaningful-mind-blowingly-metamorphic action.

If you’ve found a book that can do that, lemme know — I’d love to read it.

Just for shiggles, let’s answer your query with a few others.

Why would you employ someone else to help you plot out a financial strategy? Or craft a marketing plan? Or design a home/office layout? Because you’ve discovered that flying by the seat of your pants is no longer getting you where you want to go — you’ve maybe even realized that it’s NEVER been an especially successful strategy. You understand how incalculably valuable a professional ally can be — especially one who possesses a metric fuckton of expertise, boasts a highly-specialized skillset, and has already seen-then-kicked-the-poop-out-of every conceivable roadblock that might stand in your way. You recognize that a teammate who’s trained to ID potential problems and locate perfect solutions before you even notice that anything’s wrong might (just might!) serve to your advantage. Most of all, you’re tired of dicking around and ready to log some serious mileage — you’ll do whatever it takes to make the journey easier, reach your destination faster, and save as much trial-vs-error heartache as possible along the way.

Same applies when you’re constructing a more authentic life.

Why would you hire an outsider to correct your form while you lift weights? Or play devil’s-advocate in a business strategy meeting? Or lead a family counseling session? Because they push you to work-harder-go-farther-and-achieve-more than you would on your own. They know which annoyingly-nail-on-the-head-why-didn’t-I-think-of-that questions to ask, exactly when to spring ’em on ya for maximum impact, and how to structure those interrogatories in a perfectly-worded-to-uncover-truths-you’ve-been-dodging way. They probe the far corners of your mind and plumb the depths of your soul, then apply what they’ve learned to concoct a personalized do-the-right-things-at-the-right-time-in-the-right-order action plan — that addresses challenges you didn’t even know you freaking had! They’re agile and flexy and capable of switching hats as needed — adept at guiding you past those inevitable “dips” (when more effort seems to equal less result), helping you find the next logical step (when your path has disappeared into the weeds), and holding you accountable for reaching the finish line (when you might have otherwise given up).

Same applies when you’re trying to overcome the impediments that have kept you from being “true.”

I’ve been doing this shite since 1998, and I’ve got literally tens-of-thousands-of-hours under my belt. When you hire me, you’re hiring my ability to get inside your head, understand how you function, make the most of your strengths, and flip any supposed “weaknesses” on their head — together we will sift through a variety of entirely-plausible life paths, suss out how each resonates with your core values, and chose the absolute-no-doubt-about-it-best one for you. Sure, you’re gonna shell out more for that sort of hands-on attention. But the increased speed, efficiency, and effectiveness with which you’ll see results will end up saving pootloads of time/money/frustration over the long-run.

What sort of dollar value do you place on peace of mind? Reduced stress? A more satisfying career? Healthier relationships? A sense of completion and satisfaction? That’s why folks pay me — ‘cuz dysfunction-elimination is a worthwhile investment toward making life the best it can be. (As one client told me, “It’s cheaper and more effective than therapy!”)

Are you telling me you’re not worth that?

How Long Will This Work Take And How Much Will It Cost?

Fair question when hiring a carpet-installer, auto-mechanic, or any other possessing-concrete-diagnostic-measurements-about-how-to-fix-what’s-wrong technician. Not-so-much when your success is dependent upon YOU. (As 100% of mine are.)

Would you ask a therapist to give you a time-frame for overcoming depression? Of course not. How about requesting a flat lose-twenty-pounds-and-build-impressive-biceps fee from your personal trainer? Gimme a break. Attorneys with no clue how complex your legal problems are until they’re at trial? Request a “job rate” from any of these folks, they’ll laugh your asses off — as might I, if you ask the same from me.

I never say “it’s going to cost-x-amount-and-take-this-long to achieve an an authentic life” — ‘cuz I deal with dynamically-evolving beings experiencing a myriad overlapping issues that will continue to morph and change throughout the process.

You’re purchasing a professional relationship, not a commodity. I shift mindsets and permanently alter less-than-constructive patterns, and I do it until you feel that you’re no longer getting enough value from the program to be worth the investment — and that is completely up to you.

Why Is Your Program So Much Spendier Than That Ebook I Saw On Amazon?

Because this isn’t an ebook – this is a comprehensive life-change program. If you want to read about authenticity, you’re welcome to check out my blogs. (Which are free — unlike that Amazon book!) If you need an inexpensive DIY option, I offer my toolkits and meditations as stand-alones. Just because you can’t go whole-hog doesn’t mean you can’t do SOMETHING to get started in the right direction. Even a single step is better than standing still.

I have very clear and thorough process that I follow with every one of my clients:

you decide which is your top priority issue (with a little input/guidance from me

  • it’s all about “focused flexibility” – your priority may change from week to week
  • our work is intended to bring about a long-term cure, not apply short-term band-aids
  • we will shift gears as needed – as long as the shift is purposeful and supports your goals
  • as a non-linear process, we may revisit steps – the motto is “lather-rinse-repeat-as-needed”
  • while we will keep the end result in mind, we will focus just as much attention on the journey
  • we will tackle each issue with the following goals in mind
  • achieving clarity about what YOU want in life – not what someone else wants for you
  • eliminating tasks/expectations/obligations that contradict (or don’t support) those goals
  • clearing out mental clutter that is distracting you from making progress
  • overcoming self-sabotaging beliefs/behaviors/patterns
  • creating a sense of excitement and motivation about achieving each goal

during each session, we will talk about what you want in your life related to that issue

  • examining your different options side-by-side, pro versus con
  • walking you through the logistics of making a particular dream come true
  • figuring out a REALISTIC timeline for turning that dream into a reality
  • pointing out potential stumbling blocks that could cause a problem along the way
  • offering other ideas/suggestions/inspiration you may not have otherwise considered

based on your response to this discussion, I will do one or more of the following

  • ask you what is appealing or exciting about taking that path versus your other options
  • ask you to examine how a specific concept makes you think or feel
  • ask you to describe any fears or hesitancies related to taking a particular action
  • ask you to explore whether or not that path still resonates with you
  • ask you to share with me a previous example of attempting something like this before

based on your response to my questions, I will help you do one or more of the following

  • view those reactions/memories/worries through a different lens
  • recognize where you’ve had relevant successes in the past
  • apply the core principle behind that success to future efforts, boosting your chance of success
  • uncover the true root cause/similarities/differences of a seemingly-comparable past failure
  • put a plan in place to avoid that particular stumbling block with future endeavors

you will take handwritten notes of what we’re working on as we talk

  • this is not just busy work – it quite specifically boosts retention/comprehension http://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/take-notes-by-hand-for-better-long-term-comprehension.html#.WN1giaIkqMo
  • I’ll ask you to send me a quick phone-photo of your notes after each session
  • you’ll then translate salient info into a bullet-pointed computer outline
  • this will be the basis of your physical written plan for changing your life

along the way we will turn our conversations into a plan for accomplishing each goal

  • taking vague concepts/wishes and turning them into concrete steps
  • breaking large overwhelming concepts down into achievable bite-sized chunks
  • making sure each step logically leads to the next step – each building upon the last
  • making sure each step creates forward-momentum – tied to a specific, definable action
  • determining exactly what resources you’ll need (and where to find them) for each step

you will be given homework after each session

  • it may be to incorporate aspects of your handwritten notes into your plan
  • it may be to ponder a concept and come back prepared to share your thoughts
  • it may be to complete a discovery exercise
  • it may be to research information about an option or action step
  • it may be to complete a task that moves you one action step closer to your goal

at the beginning of the next session, we’ll go over your homework

  • examining how doing that work made you feel
  • exploring any resistance or fear it brought up in you
  • pinpointing what got in your way if you didn’t complete an assignment
  • looking at what that “incompletion” means in terms of that goal
  • finding a way to either work around that roadblock or revamp the goal accordingly

as I see a need, I will provide you the appropriate tools to help you over a major roadblock

  • personal discovery self-assessments (which we will discuss at the next appointment)
  • specific meditations meant to help you work on the mental/emotional side of an issue
  • readings from other experts in their field
  • outside resources designed to support that particular life-change
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4 Responses

  1. Ramona~Well Done! This is so creative I love it! Thanks for my morning laugh and some great content as well!

  2. Super clever article! All totally true as well:)

    Michelle

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